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David Spencer
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The Daves Collective

Kingmaker
2004-01-22 11:19

/misc/

An Official Communiqué from Lord Roos, Marshall of England, on behalf of the Army Council of the Daves Collective.

Right last night. First Roder was a no show, so that was good from the off. Next we all got a pretty good deal, I got Constable of the Tower of London, superb. Unfortunately game turn one 'King to Preston' (of all places) and Scuttler pounced on him. I got me hands on matey in Harlech, sorry to say this but I topped him.

Pete had woshisname in Calais, John finally stormed York to get the Hunchback, Scuttler also managed to get Margaret and the brat. Couple of Scuttler's nobles was close to my faction so I steamed in with all my lads, shat all over him. Scuttler not happy. By now one of my chaps was Marshall of England, bad news was sent to Bodmin. Had another go at Scuttler, beat him again. He and Johnny attack me at Bodmin, bad weather delays attack, ha ha!

They try again next turn, out number me 5 to 4 ish victory card was 4 to 1 victory, ha ha they haven't got enough lads. Suckers! Then Marshall to Thetford, hoorah I get away.

Me and Pete a faction by now, so are the other two. Scuttler slotted all 3 Lancastrians because of my unprovoked attacks on him, Johnny crowns Dicky boy as King. Pete and I can't get all our lads in the same place at the same time. However Johnny moves to the west country (where he gets an additional 100 blokes), we follow, still not at full strength, at least 3 battles fought, all inconclusive.

Finally the decisive battle. We had 670 lads to their 580 or 610 can't remember, draw the card MAJORITY VICTORY! Huzzah We WIN! What's more it's a Yorkist win, we of course slot all their nobles and Dicky boy and put young Clarence or what ever his name is on the royal potty as our little puppet monarch. Oh how I beamed with delight. One of the best games we have ever had.

Update - Factional feedback

Pete requests this addendum:

However, they did have Richard of York, whilst all we had was his 4th son, [Yorkist spermatozoa clearly top notch - Ed.] Richard of Gloucester (the hunchback). ["differently vertebrated"] You could have mentioned that we were devout Lancastrians [Boo!] facing an overwhelming Yorkist force [Hoorah!] and although the Lancastrians were slotted, [Hoorah!] we still fought to have 'our man' in place (even though he was a Yorkist). [poor mixed-up souls] Also, Johnny had one of the largest forces in the field, and crowned Richard of York as king (a usurper). [just like Henry Bolingbroke] You should also mention that Scuttler is guilty of regicide!! [you mean "an act of proletarian liberation" - Ed.]

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